In this Expert Insights article, we are thrilled to have Pearleen Chan, Founder and Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant of Happy Sleep Club, to share practical strategies to help parents of multiples build strong sleep foundations from the very beginning.
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As an expecting mom, you may have heard rumors that being exhausted is a normal part of having a newborn. Many people say it’s a phase to just suffer through and that there is nothing much we can do until our babies are much older. When you are expecting twins or triplets, or other higher order multiples, these fears are even more real.
You might be wondering: Will I ever get a good night's rest again?
The good news is that those rumors aren't true! While life with newborns is busy, you do not have to settle for months of being more tired than necessary. There are practical ways to get your twins or triplets off to a great sleep start, and that means more rest for you, too.
Why is it important to set up a strong sleep system?
In this article, I’ll cover the three most important steps to setting up a sleep system in the Fourth Trimester, also known as the first 12 weeks postpartum. The goal isn't to achieve perfect sleep, it’s about laying a foundation so that by Month 4, your family has a rhythm that works for you, rather than against you. Babies in the normal weight range of their age are biologically ready to sleep through the night between 4-6months old. For premature twins and triplets, they may need some time in the NICU in the initial days. However, it's never too late to start. With a strong sleep system you can help your babies get there fast and enjoy undisrupted sleep which is key to their cognitive, social development and emotional regulation skills.
1. The Golden Rule: Sync Their Schedules
This is the most important step for parents of multiples. While parents of a single baby might follow "on-demand" cues, a synchronized schedule when you have multiples, is your best path to rest.
- Align Feeding and Sleep Times: A newborn’s cycle is eat, play, sleep on repeat. Doing these activities with your babies at the same time helps their bodies get used to the same rhythm. In the case where one of the multiples wake up early to feed, you can wake the others up within 15minutes. This may sound counterintuitive, but is a powerful reset step to sync schedules together.
- Set a Bedtime Routine: A baby’s natural sleep rhythms begin to show up around 6–8 weeks. Their bodies start to develop a sense of day and night. Create a fixed bedtime routine with your babies and do it consistently every night. This helps them adapt to this change faster.
- Ask for Help: If you have a partner or family nearby, having an extra set of hands for feedings in the early weeks can make this syncing process much easier (1 person to 1 baby).
2. Create a Good Sleep Environment
A common concern for parents of multiples is that one baby will wake the other when they cry. Interestingly, many twin or triplet babies are used to hearing their siblings cry and many of them still manage to sleep right through the noise. However, we can help them sleep better by making a few adjustments in their environment.
- Individual Sleep Spaces: For safety and better sleep, place each baby in their own cot. It is perfectly okay to keep them in your bedroom for easy access for feeding and soothing during the newborn phase.
- Use White Noise: Use a white noise machine for all naps and bedtime. It acts as a strong cue for sleep and helps block out household/ other environmental noises. White noise is also powerful in helping siblings of multiples in large families achieve good quality sleep and a longer sleep duration for naps.
- Manage the Light: Keep the room very dark for both naps and bedtime (so dark you can’t see your fingers!). Light makes it harder for babies’ bodies to produce melatonin (also known as sleep hormones) they need to settle down.
3. Encourage Independent Sleep Skills
You can start encouraging healthy sleep habits from day one. Research shows that simple sleep habits, such as practicing independent settling, can significantly reduce sleep problems by the time the babies are 6 months old. Some parents may be skeptical, but it definitely is possible for twins and triplets to achieve independent sleep too.
- ‘Drowsy but Awake’: Try to put your babies down when they are sleepy but not yet asleep. This is when they are most ready to drift off to sleep. If a baby fusses, pick them up to soothe them, but place them back down once they are calm. This helps them learn how to fall asleep without needing to be "helped" all the time. It also facilitates the last moment of sleep to be completed by themselves, which is crucial to develop this skill.
- The "Pause" Strategy: When a baby starts to make noises, wait a few minutes before going near or responding. Babies are active sleepers, and they often grunt or move in their sleep without actually being awake. Pausing gives them a chance to settle back down on their own.
When should I start building my sleep system for my family?
The first month of having newborns at home can be chaotic, especially with twins and triplets. The first 21 days after your newborns arrive, is where your primary focus should be on physical recovery and bonding. Week 3 is when you can start intentionally building up this 3-step system with your multiples. If you feel physically and emotionally ready earlier, you can begin laying this foundation from Day One. For most families with twin or triplet newborns who are already at home, Week 3 is the perfect balance of recovery and strategy.
Conclusion
The newborn phase is a time to be patient and lean on support all around you. By starting these small and good sleep habits early on, you are building a strong sleep system that prioritizes rest for the whole family. The newborn phase is arguably one of the most exhausting and challenging phase for any parent—it is also one of the most precious periods with your baby that passes in a blink of an eye.
At the core of it all, remember that you are doing our best to navigate this new season of parenthood and for your babies. We are not perfect humans, and the occasional off-routine days and blips outside of our control is inevitable. When overwhelm hits us—take a pause, breathe and enjoy the moments of chaos too. Give yourself grace as you navigate this delicate start to parenthood!
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For more tips on how to get through the first year with twins and triplets, here are some stories from nine seasoned triplet mums!
Whether you're raising multiples or multiple children, finding a supportive parenting community makes all the difference. Join the conversation and share your experience with us! Follow us on Instagram for more updates :)
Cover Image Credit: Liviu Boldis, via Unsplash
